Childless Not By Choice Quotes
Children | Self-esteem | Suffering

45 Quotes about Being Childless Not By Choice (HEALING)

It seems there are only two recognized groups of people nowadays: those who have children and those who choose not to have children. Being childless NOT by choice is little talked about and is extremely painful for those involved. The reasons involved can be medical (infertility of oneself or of the partner) and situational (not having the right partner at the right time, not wanting children initially but changed opinion when it’s too late, etc.).

As a woman who is childless not by choice, I myself have found these quotes healing in making me feel understood and in remembering my self-worth. I hope they can help those with the same issue, as much as they have helped me.

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The Pain of Infertility and Childlessness

1. “Childless people are always expected to explain themselves, although it would never occur to anyone to ask a woman why she became a mother.” Elisabeth Badinter, The Conflict: How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women

“Childless people are always expected to explain themselves, although it would never occur to anyone to ask a woman why she became a mother.” Élisabeth Badinter

2. “I just want a chance to be a mom.”

3. “I lay on my back, feeling as if more than the womb had been taken out.” Gayl Jones, Corregidora

4. “I realized that so much of the pressure I was feeling was from outside sources, and I knew I wasn’t ready to take that step into motherhood,” Kim Cattrall, Kim Cattrall’s Aha! Moment (http://www.oprah.com/spirit/kim-cattralls-aha-moment)

5. “Infertility hurts.”

6. ’All these people having their second and third baby. I’m over here like ‘can I just have one?’ Click To Tweet

7. “That moment you realize your family and friends have forgotten about you because you’re not in their ‘We Have Kids and You Don’t, So Therefor We’re Holier Than Thou Club’.”

8. “Sometimes people with good intentions can say hurtful and insensitive things to people with infertility who are trying to conceive: “May be it’s not meant to be.”, “Well, you can always try harder.” “You want kids? Take mine” “What do you want a baby for, anyway?” “Don’t worry, just relax and it will happen.” “Why don’t you just adopt?”

9. “Every drunken cheerleader… Why not me?”

10. “Infertility is anger.”

 

Childless Not By Choice Quotes (HEALING)

11. “You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t mothering.” Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Aniston on Why Feminism Shouldn’t Be That Hard

"You may not have a child come out of your vagina, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t mothering." Jennifer Aniston

12. “My Worth is not determined by having children.”

13. “I have… not one regret about not having children because I believe that it is the way it’s supposed to be.” Oprah Winfrey, Oprah Winfrey: ‘I’m Not a Lesbian’

14. “When I’m lying in bed, dreaming of all the things I’d like to achieve, those pictures never include a child. There’s me and my adventure and a whole lotta love. It is a complete, happy, solid picture.”

15. “Just because you can reproduce doesn’t mean you should.”

16. 'It was not my destiny. I kept thinking it would be, waiting for it to happen, but I never did, and I didn’t care what people thought.' Helen Mirren Click To Tweet

17. “We didn’t need children to complete us. We were already complete. I had my flowers and plants, and he had his writing. Wasn’t that enough? Didn’t he love the ebb and flow of our life together just as it was? The way I’d race home for dinner with a basket brimming with vegetables from the market or a handful of herbs from a garden project, eager to read the pages he’d written that day. Didn’t he love, as I did, the quiet mornings we spent in our garden, sipping espresso and discussing our latest venture to a flea market in Queens or an antiques shop in Connecticut? Once we carted an enormous painted dresser to a taping of ‘Antiques Roadshow’ only to find that the piece was made in China. I grinned at the memory.” Sarah Jio, The Last Camellia

18. “Why do I need to have reasons? When someone decides to have a baby, people don’t go around asking what her reasons are.” Emily Giffin

19. 'I don’t have this sort of checklist of things that have to be done and if they’re not checked then I’ve failed ... my being a woman, or my worth or my value as a woman.' Jennifer Aniston Click To Tweet

 

Humor for being Childless

20. “As a woman who chooses to be childless, I generally have just one problem: other adults. Living in a culture where women are assumed to prioritize motherhood above all else and where a woman’s personal choices are often considered matters of public discussion means everyone things they have the right to discuss my body and my choices, so anyone curious about my lack of spawn feels the right to march right on over and ask me about it.” Danielle Henderson, Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on The Decision Not To Have Kids

"As a woman who chooses to be childless, I generally have just one problem: other adults." Danielle Henderson

21. “OMG! I forgot to have children.”

22. “In countless cases, parenthood has been the worst attempt to contribute something positive to the world.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana

23. “We don’t have kids because our pets are allergic to them.”

24. “Not a few millions of parents strongly hope that their own children will step in by instantly becoming their own parents’ foster parents, if and when the parents reach their second childhood.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana, The Use and Misuse of Children

25. “Overpopulation is by far the worst kind of pollution.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana

26. “Tevis being childless meant you felt a little sorry for her, and a bit jealous. Probably the same way she felt about you.” Monica Ali, Untold Story

27. ‘My infertility posts make you uncomfortable? Let me just get back to those nonstop pictures or posts about your pregnancy or baby or children.’ Click To Tweet

28. “Whenever boring old men went, ‘What? No children? Well, you’d better get on with it, old girl,’ I’d say ‘No! Fuck off!’” Helen Mirren

29. “In addition to session of fertility acupuncture, bazillion supplements, red raspberry leaf tea, pomegranate juice, red meat & other ‘womb lining friendly food, Mayan abdominal massage & nightly castor oil packs, I am still childless.” Unknown

 

Inspiring Quotes for a Life without Children (HOPE)

30. “Now I’m just going to watch how my life unfolds and see what happens. I’m not going to be less of a person if I don’t have children. It will work out the way it is supposed to.” Dita von Teese

"Now I’m just going to watch how my life unfolds and see what happens. I’m not going to be less of a person if I don’t have children. It will work out the way it is supposed to.” Dita von Teese

31. “That she bear children is not a woman’s significance. But that she bear herself, that is her supreme and risky fate.” D. H. Lawrence

32. “I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” Byron Katie

33. “When you lose something, you’ve been spared.” Byron Katie

34. “Does having a family make people happier?”

35. “I do not want children. This does not make me any less of a woman, nor does it make me ay less of a good person.”

36. ‘I’ve thought about this a lot lately. I never thought I’d be this age and not have kids. But my life has also gone in a million ways I never anticipated. I kept feeling like I’d wake up with absolute clarity, and I haven’t. The… Click To Tweet

37. “I’m not having a family and you can’t make me.”

38. “When I was 5, my fantasy was to have a hundred dogs and a hundred kids. I realized that so much of the pressure I was feeling was from outside sources, and I knew I wasn’t ready to take that step into motherhood. Being a biological mother just isn’t part of my experience this time around.” Kim Cattrall

39. “The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.” Roseanne Barr

40. “Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.” Mokokoma Mokhonoana, The Use and Misuse of Children

41. ‘I’m completely happy not having children. I mean, everybody does not have to live in the same way. And as somebody said, “Everybody with a womb doesn’t have to have a child any more than everybody with vocal cords has to be an opera… Click To Tweet

42. “I don’t feel alone. I feel very un-alone. I feel very sparkly and excited about everything.” Stevie Nicks

 

Recommended ReadingLiving the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children (May 1, 2020) by Jody Day

 

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