Calvin and Hobbes Quotes on Life
Friendship | Funny | Life

85 Funny and Deep Life Lessons Calvin and Hobbes Give Us

When I read my favorite Calvin and Hobbes comics by cartoonist Bill Watterson, I didn’t only get a good laugh, I also got some profound understanding about life and the world. The six-year-old Calvin and his imaginary stuffed tiger Hobbes wittily mused about life, people, their friendship and everything under the sun. Check out the 85 life lessons the legendary comic strip can teach us.

 

Quotes about living life to the fullest (Motivational!)

1. I’m a dessertarian.

I'm a dessertarian. Calvin and Hobbes

2. Hobbes: You’re going to juggle eggs? Calvin: It’s a metaphor for life.

3. It’s funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.

4. If you care, you just get disappointed all the time. If you don’t care, nothing matters, so you’re never upset.

5. Dance even if you have to warn people to get out of the way first.

6. Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

7. Hobbes: Is it a right to remain ignorant? Calvin: I don’t know. But I refuse to find out!

8. What on earth am I doing inside on this beautiful day?! This is the only life I’ve got to live!

9. From now on, my rallying cry is: “so what?!” Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

10. You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help.

11. It’s not summer if your tongue isn’t purple.

See also: Dalai Lama Quotes on Health, Happiness and Compassion

 

Quotes about living in the now (Deep)

12. We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take out time to enjoy where we are.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take out time to enjoy where we are. Calvin and Hobbes

13. The problem about the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

14. Finding something important in life does not mean that you must give up everything else.

15. They say winning isn’t everything, and I’ve decided to take their word for it.

16. The truth is, most of us discover where we are heading when we arrive. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

17. I wondered, is it better to do the right thing and fail or is it better to do the wrong thing and succeed.

18. You can present the material, but you can’t make me care.

19. My brain wishes my ego had call waiting.

20. If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

21. Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.

22. If you need to worship life – all life, every last crawling bit of it! We’re all in this beauty together.

23. Childhood is short, maturity is forever.

24. When you get something, it´s new and exciting. When you have something, you take it for granted and it’s boring. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

Also:  Read Calvin and Hobbes comics here

 

Quotes about difficult people (Hilarious)

25. I wish people were more like animals. Animals don’t try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company.

26. In my opinion, we don’t devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

27. Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. They listen to your problems. They comfort you when you are sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.

28. By Golly, life’s too darn short to waste time trying to please every meddlesome moron who’s got an idea how I ought to be. I don’t need advice! Everyone can just stay out of my face!

 

Quotes about staying positive in difficult situation (Inspiring)

29. Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. Calvin and Hobbes

30. I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.

31. I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.

32. This one’s tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers like eleventeen…

33. No problem is so big or so complicated that it can’t be run away from. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

34. Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.

35. I’m killing time when I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

36. Mom: “Life could be worse, Calvin” Calvin: Life could be a lot better too!

37. That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

38. I ask myself “Do I even care?”

39. Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Related Quote:  “The Best Fighter is Never Angry” by Lao Tzu

 

Quotes about Reality (Sarcastic)

40. Reality continues to ruin my life.

Reality continues to ruin my life. Calvin and Hobbes

41. Dad: “The world isn’t fair, Calvin.” Calvin: “I know, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor? People think it must be fun to be super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.”

42. It’s no use! Everybody gets good enemies except me.

43. It is man’s indomitable nature to scare himself silly for no good reason!

44. I’m learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life…procrastinating and rationalizing. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

45. It seems like once people grow up; they have no idea what’s cool.

46. Moms and reason are like oil and water.

47. Wow, look at the grass stains on my skin. I say, if your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

48. Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

49. I won’t eat any cereal that doesn’t turn the milk purple. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

50. We seem to understand the value of oil, timber, minerals, and housing, but not the value of unspoiled beauty, wildlife, solitude, and spiritual renewal.

51. You know, there are times when it’s a source of personal pride to not be human.

52. Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Quotes about the ability to laugh at oneself (Sarcastic)

53. I’m a simple man with complex tastes.

I'm a simple man with complex tastes. Calvin and Hobbes

54. Calvin: “I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius.”Hobbes: “What’s misunderstood about you?”Calvin: “Nobody thinks I’m a genius.”

55. Hobbes: “What are you doing?” Calvin: “Being cool.” Hobbes: “You look more like you’re bored.” Calvin: “The world bores you when you’re cool.”

56. People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.

57. I’d hate to have a kid like me!

58. Everybody seeks happiness. Not me, though! That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world: Happiness isn’t good enough for me. I demand euphoria! Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

59. Obviously my body doesn’t believe a word my brain is saying.

60. I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul.

61. I have been put on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind I will never die.

 

Quotes about changes and reality (Sad but true)

62. If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are? Calvin and Hobbes

63. Nothing is permanent. Everything changes. That’s the one thing we know for sure in this world.

64. I hate change! It’s too disruptive! when things are different, you have to think about the change and deal with it. I like things to stay the same, so I can take everything for granted.

65. Why can’t I stay the way I am? What’s the point of this? Why can’t things be different?

66. Don’t you wish it could be like this all year… forever? No school, no job, no anything?

67. It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.

68. Why does the universe always give you the sign after you do it? Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

69. History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction.

 

Quotes about friendship (Cute and Sweet)

70. If your friends are contractual, you don’t have any.

71. A true friend is one soul in two bodies.

72. Things are never quite as scary when you’ve got a best friend. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

73. Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave and impossible to forget.

74. It’s always a crazy world with our best friends, But we love it!

75. I’ve got a good home and a best friend. What more could a tiger want?

76. My tiger is now fast asleep on his back and dreaming deep. When the fire makes him hot, he turns to warm whatever’s not. Propped against him on the rug, I give my friend a gentle hug. Tomorrow’s what I’m waiting for. But I can wait a little more.

77. It’s great to have a friend who appreciates an earnest discussion of ideas. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

78. Here is a tiger hug for being my best friend.

79. Calvin: The problem with you, Hobbes, is you’re always at a loss for words. Hobbes: I’ve found that saves many a friendship.

 

Quotes about school and work (Inspiring)

80. There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

81. Hobbes: “Do you have an idea for your project yet?” Calvin: “No I’m waiting for an inspiration. You can’t just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.” Hobbes: “What mood is that?” Calvin: “Last minute panic.”

82. I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet

83. Why waste time learning when ignorance is instantaneous?

84. I understand my tests are popular reading in the teacher’s lounge.

 

Last words

85. There is always tomorrow. Calvin and Hobbes Click To Tweet